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wefuckindareyou's Journal

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Select Members , Moderated
"Pick up the gun."
-Jack Palance, "Shane"

Are you a megalomaniac? Are you vain, narcissistic, and/or desperate for attention? Are you looking to bring traffic to your LiveJournal by any means necessary? If so, you've come to the right place. We'll let you post the address of your LiveJournal here...for a price.

If you post your LiveJournal's address in this community in a bid for your "15 minutes", you agree to subject yourself to our extraordinarily high standards of low life, and deal with whatever we have to say about it.

Will it all be bad? Hell no. We're looking to reward greatness and make a few of you famous here, ultimately. We're just not planning on being especially nice to those who fall painfully short of "greatness". Be entertaining enough to impress us, or be prepared to go down in flames.

Little girl, would you like to be a star? Wanna see your name in lights? Think you've got what it takes to survive our worst? "Ya feel lucky, punk?" If so, then CAREFULLY read our Constitution, and if you agree to our terms, join the community and post your LiveJournal's address.


IMPORTANT NOTICE 01/21/04: The queue's closed again until further notice. Sorry, kids. Ain't no one else doing any legit reviewing, and I'm "not feelin' it" at the moment, as my man Biz Markie might say. When this changes, you will be the first to know. In the meantime, anyone submitting journals for review or asking when the queue is going to be reopened...aw, hell, you know what happens next. :D

Our Constitution ("Learn it. Know it. Live it."):

1. This community is founded and focused on what will at times be SCATHING review of written subject matter about your personal lives. We're not planning on coddling anyone. In fact, we're planning on being pretty brutal to the worst of you. If you're the type of person who can't take a joke, can't handle criticism, or takes things too seriously and personally, we STRONGLY suggest that you don't post your LiveJournal's address to this community. We don't want to hurt you. This is the only warning you will receive.

2. Anyone can join and post to this community, but anyone who doesn't conduct themselves in an intelligent manner will have their posts deleted, be banned from posting, and become the subject of an extended period of public ridicule.

3. If you're posting your LiveJournal for review, please only do it ONCE. Otherwise, all of your posts will be deleted, you'll be banned from posting, and we'll spend a longer than usual time ridiculing you.

4. DO NOT post the addresses of community journals here. community_promo is where those belong. If you violate this policy, we'll (sing it with me, kids) delete your posts, ban you from posting, and ridicule the hell out of you here.

5. DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT post the address of a LiveJournal that is not your own. See rules 1-3 for what will happen to you if you do.

6. I probably don't have to say this, but just in case...if you have a LiveJournal that's mostly or entirely friends-only, don't bother submitting it to us, or the deletion/banning/public ridicule will happen. Besides, if you're going through such EXTRAORDINARY lengths to preserve your privacy, why on Earth would you want a bunch of strangers deconstructing what you write and how you write it?

7. An occasional off-topic post is acceptable, but anyone who excessively posts off-topic here is subject to...y'all know the rest.

8. If you post quiz results to your LiveJournal frequently, don't post its address here. Just...fucking...don't.

9. If you post your journal here for review and then decide that your journal needs to be friends-only because your boyfriend found out that you sucked some 15 year old guy off in an Arby's bathroom by reading it, that's not our problem. Anyone found to be "friends-only" after applying for review will be instantly banned, and heartily ridiculed.

10. The yourfairyking Memorial Rule: if you submit your journal for review, and abandon ship for a journal with a new username, tough shit. You're out, you're banned, and you're fuckin' ridiculed, baby!

11. Reviewers, if you post a duplicate review of an applicant, you are to post it in the comments section of the first review. This is to prevent any applicant from getting more face time than they deserve, and keep the reviews neat and orderly. If you need more words than LiveJournal allows in individual comments, please feel free to include the rest of your review AS A REPLY TO YOUR FIRST COMMENT (the one with the first part of the review). A note that the review is "continued" is appreciated in each part of the review, in these cases. As much as I hate to do this to people who contribute reviews here, anyone ignoring this rule from here on will be removed, banned, ridiculed and sodomized.

12. Enforcement of the rules of wefuckindareyou is the sole responsibility of this community's maintainer,
and as such, is ultimately subject to his whims, likes, dislikes, prejudices, and biases. The buck stops here. Don't like it? Start your own damned flea circus, Paco.

13. Perhaps the easiest way to get banned from wefuckindareyou and publicly ridiculed is by publicly and openly criticizing the maintainer's enforcement of the rules, particularly rule #9. Is this fair? Hell no. Does anyone care? Well, I, the maintainer, certainly don't. You regulars all know this one, so sing it with me: "DON'T TELL ME MAH BUSINESS, DEVIL WOMAN!"

14. Attempts to flatter, bribe, or seduce the maintainer or regulars here are wholeheartedly encouraged, but we do not guarantee any improvement in our review of your LiveJournal in return.

15. Since this has been happening lately: anyone who makes any attempt to contact scottcrawford about wefuckindareyou by any means other than posting here in the manner described above is clearly the biggest fucking moron on Earth, and they're not allowed to be here anymore. They'll be banned immediately, publicly ridiculed, and their mom's a fucking whore. Some of the following will be redunant, but fuck it: DO NOT post comments on threads here asking for reviews. Make EACH REVIEW REQUEST a separate post (keeping the "1 request per user" rule in mind at all times). DO NOT post wefuckindareyou-related comments on threads in my personal journal. And, last but not least, DO FUCKING NOT instant message me in reference to wefuckindareyou business without prior clearance. Were you born this stupid, or did all the semen you swallowed as a young child kill your brain cells?

16. The "I don't want to be fucking bothered" provision: If I glance over your journal, and don't want to be fucking bothered, I will post the words "I don't want to be fucking bothered" as a comment on your review request. At that point, unless another reviewer takes the initiative to read your journal, which has already been deemed to be less than engaging by me, it is up to you to convince me (and possibly the other reviewers) that your journal is worth our time.

Write an essay. Flatter us incessantly. Offer your favors to us. Buy us items from our
Wish Lists. Give us money. Our time is extremely valuable to us, and in my opinion, a review here is worth more than a review from any of the other review communities. Don't settle for less, even if it costs you to earn our attention.

If another reviewer wants to post their wish list/PayPal information, they are more than welcome to, as long as they don't totally spam out the community, which would be grounds for banning and public ridicule.

Also, I am not responsible for the transfer of any goods, funds, or services sent to me "in care of" another reviewer. If it gets sent to me, I keep it. Applicants, PLEASE be mindful of this when bribing us.

This rule is effective immediately, and extends retroactively to all reviews in the queue.

17. By making ANY posts here (not just ones promoting your LiveJournal), you are fully agreeing to the rules described above, and agreeing to fully accept and abide by the consequences of your actions. No one is forcing you to read, join, or post to this community. You do so at your own risk. There will be no crying over spilled milk here, ladies and gentlemen.